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the Drumstick.

Where Tatler shares its humor

The ultimate St. Mary’s wish list

12/6/2018

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By Kate Stukenborg

Photos by Abbie Ryan
What do you get the turkey who has everything?
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The Christmas pageant has found a spot on my calendar, advent candles now light up chapel, and bedazzled red and green sweaters have begun to appear in the hallways. While these symbols of the Christmas season should be brightening my spirits, each one serves as a reminder of the one thing I dread about the holiday season: picking out gifts to give my friends. Holiday sales and stores full of scented candles seem to mock my inadequate gift-giving abilities at this time of the year, but I know I’m not alone in my angst. If you, too, have struggled to find a gift worthy enough for a St. Mary’s girl, do not fear! Tatler is here with your all-inclusive list of the perfect gifts for any St. Mary’s girl.


1. A new TI-nspire calculator charger — Mr. McCalla has been complaining about all the students using his.

2. Good wifi. Also, the ability to access Spotify during the school day so students can jam to Evie Fowler’s amazing, Tatler-approved Christmas playlist.

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4. A chapel performance by Beg to Differ, the MUS acapella group. We still can’t stop thinking about last year’s rendition of “Africa” by Toto. Swoon.

5. Therapy dogs during exam week. Therapy horses would be nice, too.

6. The ability to purchase coffee with snacks and/or lunch. The amount of students arriving late due to Ugly Mug and Starbucks runs is getting out of hand. 


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7. A 37 on the ACT.
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8.  Bird scooters in school to travel from class to class.

9. A new badge system in which microchips are inserted into our fingers that can be used to unlock door. 

10. A cafeteria, preferably with windows.

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College applications have been turned in and Christmas break is right around the corner -- it truly is the most wonderful time of the year. However, as senioritis and Christmas fever start to kick in, a handful of students are finding themselves on the naughty list. Be sure to keep your grace points to a minimum, keep your hallways clean, and keep your lunch out of the library, and you might just be the recipient of one (if not all) of these highly coveted gifts. ​​
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  • Home
    • About Us
    • Our Archives
  • News
  • Sports
  • A & E
  • Opinions
    • The Beat.
    • Skipper's Soapbox
    • Yesterday's Tomorrow
  • Lifestyle
  • the Drumstick
  • Podcast
  • Quarantined