John Mulaney

by Phoebe Lusk-Hussong

An eccentric, child-homicide detective. A bulldog dressed as Jesus. A horse loose in a hospital. John Mulaney’s newest, Emmy-winning, stand-up special, “Kid Gorgeous,” will leave any person with a sense of humor cackling uncontrollably.

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John Mulaney’s gorgeous Kid Gorgeous

Many of us can already feel the school year taking a toll on our souls. For a much needed pick me up, John Mulaney is the man. He is an overly polite 35-year-old, man-child comedian who loves to recant the injustices of his own childhood. For many St. Mary’s students, he is already a favorite. If you do not already know and love him, believe me you will. 

Earlier this year, Mulaney released a new, Emmy-winning stand-up show “Kid Gorgeous.” In his newest show, Mulaney tells the audience of his younger days when an eclectic, child homicide detective, Detective J.J. Bittenbinder, would come to his school to teach the children about “street smarts.” Bittenbinder’s lessons consisted of creative ways to stay safe as a child in a world full of dangerous pedophiles. His methods included helpful tips such as keeping a money clip of cash to throw into a gutter to distract a mugger and learning how to kick out a tail light to alert other drivers that “something fishy” is happening when you inevitably get kidnapped. 

As the show progresses, we move further into Mulaney’s life. He complains about his college demanding that he give them donations even though the college has not educated or housed him in years. He continues by talking about life with his wife and their French Bulldog, Petunia. After discovering that his Jewish wife knows even less about Jesus than he previously thought, he arrives back where he started: his childhood.

For his final bit, Mulaney recalls his upbringing in the Catholic church. He circles back to his father demanding that he sing louder because “God can’t hear you." Mulaney ends with his childhood, just where he began and a place where, some would argue, he never left. 

John Mulaney often says that he looks like a really tall, very tired child. With his childlike features, comes a sort of playful kindness. His humor is not the cleanest or the nicest, but he is a refined man-child dressed in a dashing suit who gets on stage to make us laugh without degrading others, but still keeping his audience on the verge of tears of laughter. 

Warning: “Kid Gorgeous” is rated TV-MA for language, and I am required to tell you to ask for your parents’ permission before watching if you are under 17. 

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