Misery Is...

by Phoebe Lusk-Hussong

Artwork by Eesha Gudiseva

Misery is...the stress of a new school year. “Misery is” is a collection of complaints created by and for St. Mary’s students. This list was crafted with the intention of alleviating some stress by making you, my dear reader, laugh.

As St. Mary’s begins its 171st year, it is time for us to participate in a St. Mary’s tradition even older than the Christmas Pageant. Complaining. Many years ago in the 1960s, our former Tatler sisters created an article entitled “Misery Is” to bring humor to the students by complaining about topics that were universal to St. Mary’s students. The creator of the Drumstick, Grayson Lusk-Hussong (17’) brought these universal complaints back two years ago. Now, I come to you with our new list of “Misery Is."

Misery is…when Haiku shuts down and the “tangled” cat appears.

Misery is…when you trip up the stairs in front of 20 people.

Misery is…when your calculator can’t solve your equation.

Misery is…not having a parking spot.

Misery is…someone taking your spot in class.

Misery is…getting the wrong kind of milk in your latte.

Misery is…losing your favorite pen.

Misery is…when every printer stops working.

Misery is…when Quizlet shuts down.

Misery is…the clatter of a fallen calculator.

Misery is…taking standardized tests.

Misery is…waiting 20 minutes to get out of the parking lot.

Misery is…the daily Khan Academy emails about test prep.

Misery is…seeing everyone crying as they walk out of a class you are about to enter.

Misery is…not being able to read a teacher’s handwriting but being too afraid to ask what the notes say.
Misery is…AP tests.

Misery is…forgetting your earbuds.

Misery is…that awkward jog to reach a door that is being held open.

Misery is…remembering your forgotten keys when you are halfway across the field.

Misery is…not having the right charger for your laptop.

Misery is...trying to come up with a good conclusion.