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Opinions.

A true St. Mary’s girl

8/21/2019

3 Comments

 

By Ria Patel

Artwork by Hallie Anderson
“Do not worry, she will turn all her work in on time,” my teacher told her friend. “After all, she is a St. Mary’s girl.”
Picture
Ever since I found myself at St. Mary’s two years ago, I have heard and seen that phrase everywhere I go. She is a St. Mary’s girl. The phrase was on the flyer that I received when I toured the school, on the “new girl” gear that I got the summer before ninth grade and then again on the sign that I was given to put up in my front yard on my first day. “I am a St. Mary’s Girl!” it says, proudly presenting my choice of education, and somehow, my “identity,” to everyone who passes by.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am incredibly proud and grateful that I get the opportunity to have the excellent and fulfilling education that St. Mary’s provides me. However, I am confused by the fact that I am a “St. Mary’s girl” in some situations and not others. By the fact that I fit into the cookie-cutter, perfect-at-everything archetype that the St. Mary’s community strives for all its students to be. By the fact that the sign in my front yard has so much power over who I am and who I am meant to be.

I’m frustrated by the fact that when I am part of the regional winning mock trial team, my team’s picture is adorned with the phrase “She is a St. Mary’s girl,” but when I, for example, do not do well on a test, I do not receive the same honor. 

It is more than just awards and accolades that make us St. Mary’s girls. For example, when someone takes two cookies from the buffet table while everyone else is taking one, she exemplifies the traits of a St. Mary’s girl.

And when someone decides to wear the same sweatshirt for two weeks in a row without washing it, I will go ahead and say that she is #SoStMarys.

I think that sometimes we get so caught up in celebrating situations in which we excel, identifying them as #SoStMarys, that we forget the other defining characteristics of our community. Our love for food and comfortable sweats is just as St. Mary’s as our excellence is.

I am no less of a St. Mary’s girl when I consume two cookies at the buffet rather than winning the mock trial competition. Rather, I am just exemplifying one St. Mary’s trait instead of another.

I should not just be a St. Mary’s girl when I succeed; I am a St. Mary’s girl all the time. I am a St. Mary’s girl when I win. I am a St. Mary’s girl when I lose. I am a St. Mary’s girl when I ace the test, and I am a St. Mary’s girl when I procrastinate English homework until minutes before.


Day after day, chapel speaker after chapel speaker, tells us that we should take risks and that failing is okay. However, after the speaker sits down and the StuCo president begins the announcements, the only St. Mary’s girls we hear about are the ones that came in first place, not the ones that tried their hardest but only earned fourth place.


If I really was to establish an overgeneralized definition for all of the girls at St. Mary’s, which, for the record, is probably impossible, I would have to settle on the following:

A true St. Mary’s girl tries her hardest to reflect the morals of her school. She attempts to incorporate the value of balance in her life, but more often than not ends up studying until 1AM anyway. A St. Mary’s girl decides that she will take initiative tomorrow to wake up early and finish her homework before school, but the essay probably is not finished until the 11AM ALAPP bell the next day. A St. Mary’s girl may not be able to fulfill the school’s values of balance and determination, but she tries regardless.

I am a St. Mary’s girl, not because I get good grades or win everything I participate in, but because I am the product of the values of my wonderful SMS community. Because I spread light and life wherever I go. 

Oh, and of course, because I always take two cookies from the buffet.
3 Comments
Madison Owens
8/22/2019 06:54:48 pm

I love this!!!

Reply
Dr. Steakley
8/23/2019 11:56:04 am

Ria,
I agree that we need to realize that there are many ways to be a St. Mary's girl. Here are some thoughts I had about the very same topic that I shared in a chapel talk last year.

I don’t know about you, but I sort of cringe when I hear someone say, “A St. Mary’s Girl.” Now, don’t get me wrong, I love it when it is used as an individual term meaning, a student who goes to St. Mary’s. It only bothers me when it is used as a collective term because it implies to me that there is a one-size-fits-all description of the PERFECT St. Mary’s girl, and I want you all to hear me say, “That is NOT true; THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS THE PERFECT ST. MARY’S GIRL.” We are a MOSAIC of very different strengths, weaknesses, interests, personalities, likes, dislikes, and on and on.


As you move through this year, I want you to strive to appreciate the differences among you - How each girl is a St. Mary’s girl in her own way. Some of you will be like Mrs. Ray and Rev. Bush who are excellent chapel speakers; others of you may be like me with no desire whatsoever to speak in chapel, but we all have strengths to attribute to the whole.

Finally, I want to return to the word authenticity. In addition to appreciating the different strengths that others bring to your class and being ok with trying something new, making mistakes, and learning from them, I want to encourage YOU to be YOU! Ms. Bielskis always says, “Just do you,” and I love that. Find YOUR voice, and be comfortable in YOUR own skin. We are not meant to all be alike, but we are all St. Mary’s Girls and to me that means we are a beautiful MOSAIC of individual people. Figuring out who you are is not always easy. It is part of growing up, but once you can “just do you,” you become confident in who you are, and can recognize and appreciate your strengths and weaknesses.

Reply
Hita Mohan
8/31/2019 10:24:33 am

Wow, this is honestly so true and I love the way you phrased this Ria. So proud of you, and we do need to be more careful making that generalization.

Reply



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