Dearly Beloved

By Kalen Ingram

You see them in the halls, take their classes, and maybe you’ve even played on a sports team with one of them. Well, let’s see how much you really know about St. Mary’s favorite couples: the party-going Pitts, the music-loving Millens and the love-bird Lyons.

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Mr. and Mrs. Pitts have been married for 29 years. They met at a meeting for soccer coaches held at St. Agnes. Mrs. Pitts was coaching at St. Agnes at the time and because St. Mary’s had previously fired its soccer coach, Mr. Pitts coincidentally also went to the meeting. Here comes the sweet part. As soon as Mr. Pitts walked in, Mrs. Pitts said to her friend “Now that’s the type of man that I could marry.” Sometime later, that friend was the maid of honor at their wedding. Sweet, right?

On a typical Valentine's Day, the Pitts enjoy dinner and a movie or show. These two definitely enjoy watching movies together. In fact, they’ve made it their own special tradition to watch all of the Academy ​Award nominations for Best Picture. Mr. Pitts’ favorite quality about Mrs. Pitts is ​

her willingness to help, while Mrs. Pitts’ favorite quality about her husband is that he is very mild mannered and easy going.

Now for the proposal story. The couple celebrated Christmas a little early on the 21st. Interestingly, Mrs. Pitts was ready to break up because she did not think the relationship was going anywhere. In a surprising turn of events, Mr. Pitts gave Mrs. Pitts a collection of gifts that explained why they should be together, which he ended with a marriage proposal. In fact, Ms. Pitts says Mr. Pitts has always been good at gifts. For their first Valentine’s Day, he gave her a hamster whom they later decided to name Squeaky.

I have assessed that Mr. and Mrs. Pitts are Chandler and Monica from Friends.

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Doc and Mrs. Millen have been married for 40 years. They met as two young college kids at the Dr. Pepper machine at the University of Alabama. Mrs. Millen “harangued” Doc, as he states, about why he never practiced. Little did Mrs. Millen know that he had his own office at the time. A typical Valentine’s Day for them is flowers from Doc to Mrs. Millen and dinner if they can find the time. Mrs. Millen’s favorite attribute of Doc’s is his unflappable nature and honesty. Doc says he could not possibly choose a favorite quality. Cheesy, I know. In Mrs. Millen’s opinion, the most romantic place that they’ve visited together would be New Orleans or California. For Doc, he claims it’s any place that they are together. Even cheesier, if at all possible. As for the

Millens' first Valentine’s Day, Mrs. Millen recounts that since they were broke college kids, it probably involved paper cards and dinner at home.

It is in my professional opinion that Doc and Mrs. Millen are Meredith and Derek from “Grey’s Anatomy” minus all the sad.

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Dr. and Mrs. Lyon have been married for 15 years. Similar to the Millens, these two lovebirds met in their freshman year of college. In 1995, Dr. Lyon was messaging Mrs. Lyon on a server at Sewanee, but what he didn’t realize is that all of their friends could see their messages. Eventually, everyone in their group chat got to see Dr. Lyon ask Mrs. Lyon out to a football game. After college, they were in 

a committed long-distance relationship, as Mrs. Lyon was in Oxford and Dr. Lyon was in D.C.

​A typical Valentine's Day with the Lyons is a family affair. They might venture to Huey’s or Mellow Mushroom to enjoy a dinner with their two kids Lucy (4) and Ann Carter (1). Mrs. Lyon loves that her husband is kind, understanding and a big softie. As a testament to these sentiments, Mrs. Lyon wanted a dog in the earlier years of their marriage, but sadly Dr. Lyon did not. So they compromised and got a dog, and Dr. Lyon soon became smitten with Scout. For the couple’s first Valentine’s Day, they did what broke college kids do and trespassed on campus. They went to the observatory and memorized the constellations. SWOON!

Now for the best part, the engagement story. Dr. Lyon had the ring for the whole summer. They took a trip to the beach and enjoyed many romantic walks there. Dr. Lyon felt that he had to be flashy and creative; he also thought that Mrs. Lyon already had a sense of what was coming, so he was wanted to throw her off the trail. For the entirety of the trip, he did not propose. On the ride back, all Dr. Lyon could remember was how sad Mrs. Lyon looked. A few days later, Mrs. Lyon remarked about how much she hated washing salad. So out of nowhere, he bought her a salad rinser, and put the ring in it. In hindsight, Dr. Lyon says that he should have proposed on a romantic walk at the beach, but then he wouldn't have this story to tell. Some parting advice from Mrs. Lyon: you may end up finding the love of your life in your freshman year of college. From Dr. Lyon: boys are dumb.
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It’s easy to say that Dr. and Mrs. Lyon are DEFINITELY Jim and Pam from “The Office.”